broken

hi..it's been a while, i know..but i've been busy. there were toefl, workshops and courses, application to graduate school, interview, and the latest, a part-time job and research on a book i'm working at. i had fun being so busy. this year i'll be juggling with work (both full-time and part-time), trip to overseas, research, and study. to be honest, i don't know why i keep on searching for some other things to do when there are so many things in my calendar this year. maybe i need to get my mind off the frustration i feel inside.

who am i?why am i trying to please people who never accept me for who i am?why i never ask myself what i want?why i never be selfish?

i don't even regconize who they are now and what more they want from me, but i keep on giving and not getting any love and understanding.

exhausted!!

it sucks when u cudnt decide what's best for you.. i have piles of forms that represent tonnes of choices..each of them have their pros and cons...it is like deciding between vanilla or chocolate. it's annoying when u just can't made up ur mind.

i have so many work to do towards the end of 2009. i am still at the office even when i shud be taking leave today. my office is a mess. so many files scattering on the table (and on the floor), piles of letters and memos and papers.my schedule for jan 2010 is already packed.

i don't want to say i hate my job.

but i do i hate forms.

awwww.....

latest addition to the family..gile comel+gebu+gemok+mengada asek nak baring2..xtau nk bg name ape...sgt epi bile kuar ngn mr.x smlm pastu tibe2 nampak ade beg plastik besa kat seat belakang..mula2 pura2 xnampak..pastu xtahan trus tny...huhuhu..gile excited kau..mesti yg dengki2 ckp, da besa2 pon nk dpt teddy bear..hahahah..neway, ni yg pertama after 6 months..last dpt plush toy from mr.x mase die baru balik dr US...i have quite a number of plush toys...most of 'em are fr mr.x...

what a happy monday!!

i will take up that challenge

i will work hard starting from NOW..

columbia, here i come!

berangan2 di ikea

dapat mkn pon nasi beriyani ayam syed bistro td!! hepi!! after makan2, me n mr.x pegi beli cupcake n surprise si nikman budak demam di rumah beliau..get well soon, bulost!

neway, after semua bisnes di s.alam selesai, ktorg g jalan2 buang mase di ikea..actually more to jalan2 sambil berangan di ikea. dialog yg biase didengar selalunye "b, sy suke sofa yg ni" or "b, nnt umah kite letak ni nak?"sbb tu kami sgt suke pegi ikea.x beli ape2 pon, just berangan. sharing happy moments la konon..konon..but me n mr.x share kesukaan yg sama when it comes to house deco. sbb tu partner yg sgt sesuai utk di bawa shopping ke ikea is mr.x.

esok ke melaka pula...seronok jugak, sbb dpt spend more time dgn mr.x..mggu depan n next month akn jd sgt2 busy dgn keje. so harap2 leh bergonjeng puas2 weekend ni before jd gila meroyan mggu depan dan seterusnye. to be honest, i hate my current job. walopon job ni agak cool (in a sense), tp sy sgt x epi..tak tau la..

i miss my bs.tp sume org mcm bz.susah nak ajak keluar skrg.forever stuck ngn mr.x..huhu..jgn marah b!

so what's ur plan this weekend?

i'm just happy for not having to go to work on thursday..

esok date dengan mr.x..actually, not really a date because the real business esok is to replace my atm card n to go to pejabat kwsp to check on my 2nd account.after applying for fellowship and apparently spt tiada jawapan, i decided utk teruskan hasrat nak amik master (hasrat yg ditangguh2 sejak tahun lepas) using my kwsp money..xtau la brape byk yang ade n boleh ke x keluarkan, but if cukup untk bayar fees for the first 3 semester pon dah ok..so skrg nak apply mane2 uni in malaysia and pilihan pertama seems to be UPM (actually UPM dah lame apply online, tp xpenah proceed dgn step seterusnye)..yang kedua UiTM.

apepon, i will go to shah alam tomorrow to settle it all, n mr.x kate die nak belanje mkn nasi beriyani kt syed bistro..yeay!!!da lame xmkn nasi beriyani kat situ..nasi beriyani syed bistro mmg terbaek!!actually, nasi beriyani kt mane2 syed bistro pon rase die same je sedap cos die dtg dr kilang yg same.u guys shud try it out.

and since esok birthday nikman n kebetulan kami ke shah alam, mr.x plan nk surprise him; culik die g makan n kasi kad yg aku buat untk nikman; MU-inspired birthday card sbb nikman sgt2 support MU.hopefully die akn suke n x gelak; given my limited artistic skill, card tu x la lawa mane pon.

i am soo happy that i don't have to go to work tomorrow..=)

monuments and melodies- to my better half

My hands are trembling
And my eyes are on fire
This house is crumbling
Left brain, left out, on the wire

You make me happy
You magnify my better half
You make me certain
Though all I have today is your photograph

My past is perilous
But each scar I bear sings
Monuments to where I have been
And melodies to where I am going

You make me happy
You magnify my better half
You make me certain
Though all I have today is your photograph

When will I see you again?
Still-life can only go so far
I need you in front of me
Saying my name
Saying to me...
"I want you the way you are
You, the way you are"

You make me happy
You magnify my better half
You make me certain
Though all I have today is your photograph
You make me happy